***Completely up to date in May 2017.** Gay men are entitled to have good, healthy friendships and good, healthy relationships. This book addresses the struggle that gay men have to just find safety in home, employment and relationships. It also makes a speciality of the different needs gay men have, as individuals and as a group. Gay men have regularly been perceived as “damaged goods” and due to this fact regularly act out in self-abusive ways by choosing inappropriate or unavailable men to date or befriend. This book helps identify personality characteristics or behaviors that get in the way of successful relationships. We all wish to take responsibility for what we bring to the relationship, and be totally conscious of what the other man also brings to the relationship. So this book is about working at being conscious; conscious of our own behavior and needs, and conscious of other’s behavior and needs. There are also poignant thoughts and quotes of other gay men in successful relationships to those that might benefit by their wisdom and experience. Many suggestions are quoted in this book too, from other gay men as to how to are seeking for out a healthy date or potential partner. This book will help guide you to take a look at you and others, to help lead you to the type of friends and relationships that allows you to enrich your life, and make you thrive and grow.